Shame on JoeLouis ...

truth always cut hearts, especially when it's at the turnin' point, of hoping the best to come ...

this is not the first time i did so, and everytime it seems to make myself felt worse, and my very own self-esteem is headin' towards the end of the world ...

hate to know the truth that, the person whom you're hoping on so much, ditched u, oh no i should have said, NEVER meant to acknowledge your existence in their world, and you will NEVER be the one appear on their mind, at any moment, at any cost, at all ...

is this how it should be? i felt devastated, humiliated ... so am i actin' like a fool @ clown all this while? am i the one forcin', so that my existence is bein acknowledged by everyone?

i couldn't believe this ... am i acting, too aggressive? and freak them all out?
ouh this is so ... arrgghh i got pissed!!

frankly speakin', talk about bein' aggressive, i couldn't be the first name of the list, but i wonder at which place i would ever belong to? shy? no way... or it just the attitude that leads to such humiliation towards myself?

i have no idea ... i'm hell devastated over this issue ... i have nothin' else to say ... i should have nothin' else to think about ... i should remain silent ... and perhaps steal the time with my very ownself, leave me alone? or i shall leave everyone alone without my existence?

You tell me ...

(@_@)